14 - Sickle sickert

The walls of this room are white, the only colour comes from a skylight made of stained glass which illuminates the room. A visitor guide is standing just ahead of you.

You queue up in order to talk to the member of staff. There are a number of people in front of you and you get to hear the joyless visitor guide repeat the same information over and over again.

This piece of art is entitle "Sickle Sickert" and it is a ground-breaking new piece of participatory art. A gallery assistant brings out a reproduction of a piece of art by Walter Sickert and the paper is pinned on to a cork board. The person at the front of the queue is then called up and handed a sickle. They are then given 30 seconds to get their creative juices flowing and to enthusiastically intersperse the sickert with negative space.

At the end of the process the visitor is given the opportunity to purchase the reworked Sickert and to take it home for the reasonable sum of £75. The exhibition is only on for a limited time - only 10,000 Sickert reproductions will be sickled.

Finally after a 15 minute wait it is your turn. Watching the other visitors has helped to get your adrenaline pumping and you are glad that you can finally let all of your aggression out. The proceedings are accompanied by Saint Saens' Danse Macabre and as you step forwards towards the pinned up artwork you notice that it is a reproduction of "The Camden Town Murder".

Before you know it your time is up. You decide to purchase the art - it will look great above your fireplace and it will be quite the talking point at your dinner parties.